Presence Centred Youth Ministry

April 12th, 2007

“Adult anxiety about teens may be the primary reason youth ministry exists” writes Mark Yaconelli in his recently published book titled “Contemplative Youth Ministry” a book that has quickly risen into my “Top Ten” books on youth ministry.

Mark writes that youth ministry has often lacked a sense of presence, that instead we’ve concentrated most of our ministries on either the anxieties of young people or the anxieties of the adults within our churches. When our youth ministries have concentrated on the anxieties of adults congregations seem to create ministries and programs that are about conformity and control, they create discipleship processes that are about teaching young people how to belong, how to act, how to be Christians in our community. Our ministry is shaped as a way to create moral, biblical literate and faith filled believers, that at the same time won’t leave university to join an overseas mission trip as we can’t handle our kids becoming like Jesus, we don’t want them killed anywhere like Africa or working on the streets with the homeless…

When the anxieties that drive us are those of the young people, (Church is boring, God is about conformity, Christians are boring) then we create programs and events that are all about fun and recreation, the programs attempt to be culture friendly involving frozen chickens, data projectors, play stations and mystery trips but lack the deeper, prayerful and mission action of the Christian faith.

It makes me wonder what would happen if our churches adopted a Presence Based approach to their ministry with young people, if they seriously consider just being present to the young people in their community, working instead from the position of our anxieties but instead from the position of love.

Could this be why mentoring programs work so well? That mentoring projects force adults into the position of being present in the lives of young people, force them to really get to know them rather than pushing the young person through an anxiety based discipleship program? What would happen if our communities would be present without the need for some forced mentoring project, what would the community look like if we all knew everyone’s names, including those under the age of 20, under the age of 10? What would the community look like if we were all truly present to share our lives with one another, especially with those under the age of 18?

To finish this line of thought I’ve pinched the following paragraph from Mark Yaconelli’s book, I seriously wonder what would happen if it becomes the creed of our ministry with youth and children in all the churches in this Presbytery …

Anxiety seeks control. (How do I make kids into Christians?)
Love seeks contemplation. (How can I be present to kids and to God?)
.
Anxiety seeks professionals. (Who is the expert that can solve the youth problem?)
Love seeks processes. (What can we do together to uncover Jesus’ way of life?)
.
Anxiety wants products. (What book, video, or curriculum will teach kids about faith?)
Love desires presence. (Who will bear the life of God among teenagers?)
.
Anxiety lifts up gurus. (Who has the charisma to draw kids?)
Love relies on guides. (Who has the gifts for living alongside kids?)
.
Anxiety rests in results. (How many kids have committed to the faith?)
Love rests in relationships. (Who are the kids we’ve befriended?)
.
Anxiety seeks conformity. (Are the youth meeting our expectations?)
Love brings out creativity. (In what fresh way is God challenging us through our kids?)
.
Anxiety wants activity. (What will keep the kids busy?)
Love brings awareness. (What are the real needs of the youth?)
.
Anxiety seeks answers. (Here’s what we think. Here’s who God is.)
Love seeks questions. (What do you think? Or as Jesus said, “Who do you say that I am?)
[Contemplative Youth Ministry – Mark Yaconelli pp.79-80]